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May 9, 2010: Granny Bea Photo Tribute, Ramble #7

Roger D. — Mon, 10 May 2010 04:04:45 +0000

I’ve written here before about my “Ramble” creative writing project. On Dec. 30 of 2009, I sat down to write a Ramble entry for my late grandmother Beatrice Ridings, who was widely known to many as Granny Bea, Aunt Bea, or Ms. Ridings. I had two wonderful grandmothers who have now passed on, and luckily for me, Grandma Eileen Darnell, who we called Bam, was also tight with Granny Bea, so on more than one occasion, I was able to enjoy them both together simultaneously. I am in the gathering process for a future post about Grandma Bam, but I’m very proud to finally share something with you that I feel is a suitable tribute to Granny Bea.

When I was studying communications at the University of Central Florida, I had a professor named Tom Morgan. One of the sage bits of advice Mr. Morgan shared was a suggestion that we do video interviews with our grandparents, parents and others we love while they are still around. I took that advice and sat with Granny Bea in her kitchen one day back around 1989 or so, asking her questions about her life and recording her answers. Much to my dismay, I have not been able to locate that videotape since she passed away in 2001. Since going through that experience, I recorded an interview with Grandma Bam before she left us, and I look forward to sharing that with others who knew and loved her. In the meantime, for Granny Bea, we have pictures like the ones you can hopefully see above, some great video footage my cousin Bart Ridings shot during the time of my and Beth’s wedding in May of 1992, and lots of warm stories. In my Ramble project, I also wanted to dedicate one of the few remaining entries to this phenomenal human being, who is still in my thoughts so often. Jan. 8, 2010 would have been her 100th birthday, and I was hustling to prepare this entry at that time, but the photo research has taken this long for me to complete. And so, it’s my sincere pleasure to share these words in honor of Granny Bea on what for the next 10 minutes remains Mother’s Day, 2010, when the absence of her and Grandma Bam in our lives is once again especially felt.

Ramble #7
by Roger Darnell

Always stirring up food for those to come,
making each arrival feel right at-home…
otherwise busying herself knitting love into
treasures for so many she yearned to hold
there with her in her quiet place, forever…
these scenes of Granny Bea at home give
off such a glow, it still warms the heart.

April 20, 2010: FOR AUNT HONEY We are dearly missing my sweet Aunt Helen Ridings, affectionately...
June 3, 2001: Home At Last… Escape from LA, Part 5 Sunday, June 3, 2001: Home At Last In case you...
Jan. 1, 1998: Flaming in Florida It’s March 21, 2010, a Sunday, a little over 12...

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April 20, 2010: FOR AUNT HONEY

Roger D. — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 14:28:42 +0000

We are dearly missing my sweet Aunt Helen Ridings, affectionately known as “Aunt Honey,” who passed away early last Tuesday at the age of 84. She has fought hard against many challenging health conditions over the past years, and always maintained her upbeat attitude, while sending us the pure kind of love that is the root of confidence in life, and one of its greatest treasures. Today, I’m thinking of our Ridings family, which continues to experience all that life has to offer, and all the good times we’ve spent together. Also, I’m fondly remembering those wonderful Aunt Helen footrubs, her great smile, and her love and thoughtfulness which have been so constant in my life….

Aunt Honey, thank you for your gift of pure love throughout every day of my life. You will be missed!

Helen Ridings
COTTAGE HILLS – April 13, 2010 4:40 PM – Helen Marie Ridings, 84, died at 1:50 a.m. Tuesday, April 13, 2010, at Saint Anthony’s Hospital in Alton. Born May 10, 1925, in Carlinville, she was the daughter of William Howard and Marie B. (Loges) Casey. She was an operator for Olin Corporation for 43 years before retiring in 1987. She was a lifetime member of the Westerner Club.

Surviving are a daughter, Debra Barrett of Hartford; two grandchildren, Scott L. (Julie) Barrett and Stacey Barrett Adams; and three great-grandchildren, twins, Nicholas and David Barrett, and Ryan Adams. Preceding her in death were her parents, a great-grandchild, Megan Elizabeth Whitehead, and a sister, Bernice Henrichs. Burial will be at Rose Lawn Memory Gardens in Bethalto.

May 9, 2010: Granny Bea Photo Tribute, Ramble #7 I’ve written here before about my “Ramble” creative writing project....
August 27, 2009: For Aunt Max I learned today of the passing of my Aunt Maxine...
Jan. 1, 1998: Flaming in Florida It’s March 21, 2010, a Sunday, a little over 12...

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Jan. 1, 1998: Flaming in Florida

Roger D. — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 16:11:57 +0000

It’s March 21, 2010, a Sunday, a little over 12 years after I emailed the following report to our friends and family members, the first of five installments documenting our move to California. Neither Beth nor I had ever been west of Texas before that time, but we were up for LA and fun new times with the dawn of 1998. So much has happened since then, for us and everyone we’ve met on this journey. Over the days ahead, I’ll be posting the other notes from this trek, followed by the photolog of our 2001 move to the Blue Ridge Mountains. As much as ever, we are especially connected to the original recipients of these emails. Sadly, the cats we fussed over back then have passed on, along with many others near and dear to us. To our friends and loved ones reading this, we still love sharing life and good times with you, and we look forward to making wonderful new memories together. Rock on!

How to Change Neighborhoods in Only Five Days

by Roger Darnell

Day One: Thursday, January 1, 1998: “Flaming in Florida”

We managed to get on the road pretty early, knowing that our goal was to travel 500 miles during the day, which would carry us to Mobile, Alabama, by day’s end. We’d stayed at my mom’s for our last night, the fitting place to begin a long journey, considering how many we’d begun from her mother’s over the years, pulling out so early in the morning it was nearly impossible to see the sad granny, waving her Kleenex in one hand from inside the window, tooting the signature honk as we went. So, without further adieu, we played the honk for my mom on the 15′ Budget truck containing all our stuff, and we pulled away from her cozy little place, watching her wave good-bye over our towed Accord in the rear-view mirrors. After so much preparation and so many sad partings, we were on the road, pursuing our “mission” (in the words of a friend from Houston, Tommy Ewasko) of relocating to Hollywood.

The world most certainly looked brand new as we rolled up the Florida Turnpike we’d traveled so often on our trips, the first or last three-hour leg of each trip northward. With plenty of room to ramp-up, the truck made 65 fairly easily, but lost 15mph on even the subtlest of hills. In north central Florida, we connected with I-10, perhaps 90 or 100 miles west of its eastern termination in Jacksonville. We headed West, which we’ll do all the way to the other end of the 2,600 mile interstate.

The trip meter rolled past 200 miles and I checked the rear-view mirrors; unless I was mistaken, blue-purple smoke was pouring from the left wheels of our car carrier. The question answered itself as I watched flames appear from the wheel well and start shooting out the side. I hit the brakes and started working the vehicle over onto the median as Beth asked, “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“Well,” I started to answer, trying not to alarm her, “the trailer’s on fire.” By the time I got the load stopped, the flames had gone out. We climbed out and walked back to inspect the trailer, and that left rear wheel was hot, hot, hot. As we stood looking at it, it caught fire again and the flames shot out dramatically.

“Oh-my-god!” Beth yelled as I ran back to the cab for the fire extinguisher. Again, the flames went out, but not before we both imagined the disaster playing out with our kitties in the carrier. Well, it seemed to be cooling off but out of service, so we carefully off-loaded the car and, in language all Trekkies will appreciate, we launched ourselves in the “Accord” shuttle and called in the repair.

Two hours later, the repair man confirmed that the trailer wasn’t going anywhere and offered to take it in for us. Beth helmed the launch and I climbed back behind the truck wheel and we were off. Before the flame-out we’d been discussing visiting Beth’s sister Ann and her husband Chuck in Tallahassee, so we followed-through and paid them a brief visit at their home. Once back on the road, as we realized when we compared notes later that night, it had felt like our last outpost. We wouldn’t know until the next day how comfortable we’d be made to feel in Houston. We drove and stopped, figured and planned, and made our way to Pensacola for the night. In the hotel room, we were too exhausted for showers that night. The kitties found a nook under the bed and we fell asleep quickly.

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Dec. 24, 2009: Winter family get-together

Roger D. — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:58:13 +0000

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October 3, 2009: Amelia, Eightish

Roger D. — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 03:16:30 +0000

Ramble #8: Amelia, Eightish

Sweetness in the flesh, sunshine itself,
in feminine form, the essence of youth.
Deep of spirit, light of heart and touch…
her happy meditations are illuminating.
Her calm is radiant, her troubles tempests.
Stand in her way at great personal risk.
Anything might come to pass in her lifetime.
God loves Amelia… eight and growing.

August 27, 2009: For Aunt Max I learned today of the passing of my Aunt Maxine...

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May 23, 1992: Hoot Owl Holler, Episode 1

Roger D. — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:40:00 +0000

I’m really thankful to a bunch of my cousins for sharing their Facebook memories and pictures of Granny Bea and her home in Greenville, Illinois, out in a place that I think my Uncle Roy dubbed “Hoot Owl Holler.” Thinking about how welcoming Granny Bea always was to everyone, I wanted to use the footage that Bart Ridings shot back on our wedding day, May 23, 1992, (also, his daughter KayeLee’s birthday), pictures provided by Bart, Daniel Ridings and others, and do a little homage to the classic TV sitcom “Cheers.”
Dedicated to the Ridings family, and Urban and Bea’s warm home, where everyone was always welcome, and smiles and laughs were usually in great abundance.

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August 27, 2009: For Aunt Max

Roger D. — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 03:10:13 +0000

Circa 1985, Roger, Maxine and Bud.

I learned today of the passing of my Aunt Maxine Ridings. Talking about her with my mom this evening, one of the things that came up was how she has just always been part of our family, forever. Also, for her nieces and nephews, I think we all always knew that we would get her smile, her wry sense of humor, and her easy laughter, each time we saw her. She seemed to laugh as easily as she breathed… and for my Uncle Bud, whom we all respect and love dearly, she has been the perfect match. Our thoughts go out to Uncle Bud, and to Dena, Janie and Keith, Bill, Marilyn, Blair and Josh.

I wrote the following poem 21 years ago, at a time when “home” had a very special meaning to me… implying certain places in and around Greenville, Illinois, security, and many specific people in my family. Aunt Max was certainly part of the family that I carried with me everywhere I went, that was constant, loving, and an inseparable part of my self-identity. Of late, her health had taken a turn for the worse, and so it seems mostly a blessing that she is now at peace. She will be missed; she was a great lady in my life, and in the lives of many other people I love. We will remember her laugh and her smile always….

Aunt Max, thank you for your love, and for helping to make me who I am.

The Different Drummer
by Roger Darnell

I don’t know why I had to go
Back home in summer’s early glow…
But in my feeble state of mind
I felt a loss I had to find.

The great escape some said I made—
And true: to sense the solemn shade
Of home, and leave the world behind
Which made me cold and scared and blind.

In all pursuits I pushed myself
Beyond the pack that somehow shelve
Their hopes and dreams for social norm
And fear the lonesome, ruthless storm.

In battle-youth, I made my way
Through acid rain of dream decay,
And while the storm’s calm eye drew near
My bravery was turned to fear.

With summoned strength I fled the storm
And limped in semi-shattered form
Toward the place where life began
To find The Answer to The Man.

I found the place I’ve always known:
Aunts, uncles, grandmas, cousins grown,
The trees that fell that I know well,
Whose echoes clang a rusty bell.

The native country took me in—
It mattered not where I had been;
It saw me as I was, and still
Gave praise for all my vital will.

I rested there, and took my time.
I slept amid the dew-cool thyme.
Serene, I saw what life could be…
Then spread my wings and flew off, free.

I don’t know just what made me go
Back home in summer’s early glow…
But on the heartfelt, wholesome track
I found my strength and brought it back.

…

August 14, 1997: Not Tonight “Not Tonight” by Roger Darnell The things I find entertaining...

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April 27, 2009: Stage might from Daddy…

Roger D. — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 02:49:00 +0000

Late in this busy day, I surprised myself by opening up my “Ramble” writing project. There are nine entries remaining in the full project, which counts down from 65 lines to one, where each line has 38 characters or less. When I began the project in 2003, one of my goals was to challenge myself to write simply.

Tonight, writing this, I was thinking about my conversations with Amelia and her recent performance. Maybe these words, written on a piece of paper in her pocket, might help?

Ramble #9

by Roger Darnell

There’s a way of playing, when safe with
favorite cousins, wherein we find extra
bravado, which fuels our most colorful
descriptions of personalities or lifeforms.
Cousins may wish to interject ideas and
observations you should consider. Waiting,
your turn arrives. All are watching you…
and you nail it. That is performance itself.
Concentrate on your message, and have fun!

October 3, 2009: Amelia, Eightish Ramble #8: Amelia, Eightish Sweetness in the flesh, sunshine itself,...
August 27, 2009: For Aunt Max I learned today of the passing of my Aunt Maxine...

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April 24, 2009: Daughter, son, play station….

Roger D. — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:41:00 +0000

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February 1, 2009: Brother a keeper

Roger D. — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:06:00 +0000

Ramble #10

by Roger Darnell

Every step of my life, you have been here.
Our shared life experiences as siblings
is what made me want it for my children…
even with all we have been through, bro.
I really can’t imagine my life without there
being a big brother, and you being him.
And now, on the verge of you achieving
something monumentally spectacular and
completely self-driven, I am awestruck,
and exceedingly proud. Rock on.

August 27, 2009: For Aunt Max I learned today of the passing of my Aunt Maxine...

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